


The Freeway

by SunflowerSupreme



Series: Ellie Phimister vs The World [3]
Category: Deadpool (2016), Marvel, X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Gen, basically the scene from the movie but i fleshed it out and added a lot before and after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:51:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSupreme/pseuds/SunflowerSupreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breakfast, The Freeway, and the Aftermath: or, A teenager in the face of mass violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Freeway

“Negasonic, come. We have mission.”

_I’d noticed_ , she thought as she hurried to catch up with his freakishly long stride. _That’s why I showed up_. Sometimes Colossus seemed to forget about her premonitions Sometimes it seemed that he was happier to pretend it didn’t exist. Sometimes Ellie decided it wasn’t worth wondering about.

He already seemed ready for battle, inhuman looking, taller than ever with metal skin. On days when there were fewer X-Men around – although this time she wasn’t sure where the teachers were – he stayed in his armored form longer. Perhaps he was afraid of being caught of guard and having to protect the school. Perhaps he was just weird.

He was still talking of course, although Ellie had zoned out while in the elevator. “I’ve given Deadpool every chance to join us, but he’d rather act like a child,” he was saying. Ellie nodded, pretending that she was listening carefully to his every word. She was. More or less. “A heavily armed child.”

He sighed, and looked at her, shaking his head sadly. “When will he grow up and see the benefits of becoming X-Man?”

Ellie snorted, she couldn’t help herself. It was all too ridiculous considering how hard Piotr had worked to convince her to join the team. Stability was the main reason she had joined up, what other benefits were there? Nothing that would hold any sane person. “Which benefits? The matching unitards?” Ellie kept her uniform hidden under many layers of black clothes whenever she was allowed. She’d never wear it if there wasn’t the possibility of burning through whatever else she might have on. “The house that blows up every few years?” So far she had only witnessed one explosion and never wanted to see another.

Colossus was unbothered. “Please. House blowing up builds character.”

Ellie didn’t voice her opinion of that aloud; swearing was something she tried to avoid in front of adults, this one in particular. Colossus decided to change the subject, apparently having watched her enough to start coming up with his usual list of questions. “You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is most important meal of day.”

She resisted the urge to say his speech along with him. Because of her tendency to skip meals, she’d heard every variant over the near two years she had lived in the X-Mansion. Ellie only ate when she was hungry; everything else seemed wasteful. He took her silence as confirmation that she had indeed skipped breakfast. “Here, protein bar. Good for bones.”

Ellie didn’t question why he carried protein bars. She didn’t question why he cared if she had eaten. She didn’t question being some kind of strange replacement for his sister, the Queen of Hell, that he was finally starting to accept was an adult (and had been for some time). She did question what he said next: “Deadpool may try to break yours.”

Protein bar resting in her hand she looked up at Colossus, one eyebrow raised. What kind of future X-Man was this Deadpool anyway? Colossus didn’t give her time to ask him anything out loud as he hurried her into the jet, saying something about not wanting to miss him again. She occupied her time eating the protein bar so she wouldn’t be tempted to ask questions she may not want to know the answer to (and to discourage Colossus from continuing his questions. Yes she had brushed her teeth, what did it matter?).

As the X-Jet came in to land Ellie looked outside and was so shocked by what she saw that she almost choked on the protein bar. There were cars everywhere, mangled and twisted over each other. And scattered among the cars was the debris, some of it car parts, much of it human. Her soft gasp drew Colossus’ attention, and he looked like he was going to say something. Before he could come up with a grand speech she said, “Are we waiting for something or getting Deadpool?”

“Let me handle Deadpool,” he said after a moment of thought. “Stay clear of him.”

She nodded. “Sure thing boss.”

He still looked like he wanted to say something, but thought better of it and led them from the jet into the chaos.

“Do not be shocked by what he does,” Colossus said as they walked across the freeway. “Deadpool has healing factor.”

Ellie nodded but didn’t speak. She was regretting eating the stupid protein bar without any liquid to wash it down with. What was the point of precognition if it didn’t warn her before she did things like that? Her mouth felt dry and gross. The sooner they left the better.

She stepped on something and it squished. She looked down into the face of a man not much older than herself, his eyes blank: he was dead. Thankfully Colossus hadn’t noticed (he would have no doubt tried to turn it into a teaching moment, Ellie just wanted to get as far from the body as possible) and she hurried after him, swallowing bile that was rising in her throat. What kind of man was this Deadpool anyway? She shoved a stick of gum in her mouth, hoping to rid herself of the dryness and imagined taste of blood.

The first glimpse she caught of Deadpool, he was looming over and seemingly about to murder a man that was pinned to the bridge with a katana. It was just confirmation that the bodies must have been his work and she didn’t see why Colossus would want him around. The large, silver mutant walked straight up to Deadpool. Ellie glanced back one more time at the man she had stepped on, and then forced herself to look forward, toward the two Mutants ahead of her as she tried to scrub the memory from her mind.

Until Colossus’ shadow fell over him, Deadpool didn’t notice that he had company. When he did he sat up and reached back to feel for what was behind him, grabbing Colossus’ crotch. Ellie covered her mouth, suppressing a grin. Exactly the distraction she needed. “Dad?” he asked. Colossus didn’t seem impressed by the question and grabbed Deadpool.

She hadn’t expected Colossus to throw him into the car before saying anything, but then again, he probably deserved it. He hit with a sickening crunch and Ellie reminded herself that he would heal, unlike all the men he had murdered or in the last few minutes.

As she approached, she realized that Deadpool was talking. She looked at her mentor, but he didn’t notice, watching Deadpool ramble on. “Pro,” he was saying, “they pull down a gaggle of ass. Local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals, both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies.”

Ellie managed to meet Colossus’ eyes. _What?_ She mouthed, nodding toward Deadpool. Colossus shrugged and then turned his attention back to the Mercenary as he said, “Con: they’re all lame ass teacher’s pets.”

“You know I can hear you?” Colossus said, already sounding more worn than Ellie had heard him in a long time.

“Wasn’t talking to you!” Deadpool snapped, still lying on the ground, presumably waiting for his healing factor to mend whatever may have broken when Colossus threw him into the car. “I was talking to them.” He turned and pointedly looked at nothing. Ellie shook her head and looked back at Colossus. She had already figured Deadpool out: he was a violent, unstable man with no conscience or language filter who talked to the voices in his head. Why did anyone want this nutcase running around the X-Mansion?

“Stay right here.” Colossus said to the man Deadpool had been harrassing. Ellie vaguely wondered what kind of mutation he had that the katana in his shoulder and other various injured didn’t seem to have affected him. “You’ve been warned before Deadpool. This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. You will both be coming with us.”

Ellie and the man pinned to the bridge looked at each other. Neither one seemed too thrilled by the possibility. She shrugged and caught up with Colossus as Deadpool finally recovered and shoved himself to his feet. “Look, Colossus, I don’t have time for the goody-two-shoes bullshit right now.” Suddenly his voice and mannerism changed completely as he turned and looked at Ellie, singing, “And you are?”

“Negasonic Teenage Warhead.” She watched Deadpool, curious what he would say. Everyone else laughed at her self-chosen name (which was good enough motivation to keep it).

“Negasonic Teenage – What the shit! That’s the coolest name ever!”

Although grateful that he didn’t mock her for her name, Warhead responded with nothing but a shrug. No need to overinflate his ego any more than it already seemed to be.

“So you’re like what, his sidekick?” Any gratitude that she might have felt toward him disintegrated.

“No,” Colossus butted in. “Trainee.”

“Let me guess,” he said, shoving between them and returning to his captive. “X-Men left you behind on what, shit detail?”

Tired of being the shortest person within a five-mile radius, and not wanting to have to watch Deadpool any longer, Warhead pulled away from Colossus and jumped onto the hood of the car. At least it made her closer to Deadpool’s height. Nothing would make her feel even close to Colossus. “What does that make you?”

“Pretending you’re not here Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Can we trade names?”

Warhead rolled her eyes. This was getting them nowhere. Even going to class would be more productive than this. Deadpool punched the man pinned to the bridge and he barely grunted. Her mouth still felt unpleasantly dry from the protein bar and she wanted to do nothing more than go home and get water. “Can we go?” she asked Colossus, who still didn’t seem to realize – or allow himself to believe – that Deadpool was never going to come with them.

Deadpool looked over his shoulder at Warhead, having overheard her comment. “Look,” he said, striding toward them in what was obviously meant to be a feminine manner. “I’m a teenage girl. I’d rather be anywhere but here.” Deadpool mimed flipping long hair. Ellie thought that was even more absurd, given that under his mask he had a chance of having longer hair than she did. “I’m all about long sullen silences, followed by mean comments, followed by more silences.” Colossus moved aside as Deadpool came closer, Ellie got the distinct opinion he was testing to see how she handled his (or amused that Deadpool was trying to mess with a human bomb).

“So what’s it gonna be, huh? Long sullen silence, or mean comment? Go on.” Deadpool was so close that – if Colossus wasn’t there – Ellie could have and would have head-butted him. Colossus wouldn’t have found it amusing.

There were a million things she could say or do, but the presence of her mentor left her with precious choices that he would approve of. “You’ve kind of got me in a box here.”

“Ah-ha!” Deadpool danced off in delight and Warhead watched him go with a sour expression. She was going to get him back for that.

“We cannot allow this Deadpool,” Colossus said, turning to follow the excited mercenary.

"You big, chrome, cock gobbler! Are you really going to fuck this up for me? Trust me, that wheezing bag of dick tips has it coming! He's pure evil!” Deadpool picked up a piece of debris left by what Ellie suspected had been a long, murderous rampage before they showed up and flung it at Colossus.

“That’s not nice,” the Russian said as though scolding a child. Granted Deadpool acted more immature than Ellie ever had.

“Besides!” Deadpool made an expansive gesture. “Nobody’s getting hurt!”

At the sound of a crunch Ellie turned and saw that a man had fallen from the freeway sign. She raised an eyebrow and exchanged an almost amused look with Colossus (although he didn’t seem amused at all).

"That guy was already up there when I got here!"

"Wade, you are better than this. Join us, and use your powers for good.”

Deadpool – or Wade as Colossus called him – threw a hubcap at his prey, calling, “Heads up” after it had already hit him.

Colossus chose to ignore his actions, still saying, “Be a super hero!"

"If I ever decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at Neverland Mansion with some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker….” Ellie didn’t think his description of Professor Xavier was too far off. Unkind, perhaps, but not without merit. However, she didn’t appreciate the suggestion that the X-Men were all whiners, especially given that it was coming from a walking, talking tantrum. “On that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request! And until then, I'm gonna do what I came here to do! Either that, or slap the bitch out of you!" Ellie almost wanted to see him fight Colossus. She was sure that whatever had allowed him to cause all this distruction would still be nothing against Colossus. If she couldn’t incinerate him when she lost control then nothing remotely human could touch him.

“Wade!” Colossus gasped.

A flash of movement caught Ellie’s eye. The man Deadpool had been playing with was moving. “Hey!”

"Zip it, Sinead!"

If he didn’t want to pay attention that was his problem, Ellie thought. But then again, if someone as crazy as Deadpool thought this guy was bad news and Colossus hadn’t disagree (in fact he had left him attached to the bridge via katana) then he probably shouldn’t be allowed to escape. She hoped Colossus would forgive a minor swear and said, "Hey, Douche-Pool!"

He chose that moment to turn to the other man, now escaped, and say, “And I hope you’re watching.” Realizing the man was gone he gasped.

“Quite unfortunate.” Colossus stepped forward, trying to calm Deadpool down before he went berserk. Ellie braced herself, wondering if the broken bones she had been warned about were going to start now. If so, she would be just as happy to keep Colossus between herself and Deadpool, unless they wanted the entire freeway burnt to a crisp.

Deadpool looked back and forth between where the man had been and Colossus several times, Colossus took a small step that angled him to be between Ellie and the angry mercenary who began shouting, “That does it!” He jumped into the air and slammed his fist into Colossus’ neck. One of them dropped to the ground like a stone. It wasn’t Colossus.

“Oh-ho-o! Canada!” His broken hand flopped limply as he shook it. Healing factor or not that had to hurt.

“Wade,” Colossus began, almost pleadingly. He was no doubt trying to avoid farther violence. Ellie hoped Deadpool kept going. He deserved it after all. “Please.”

Deadpool spun quickly, bringing his unwounded hand in an uppercut. “Cockshot!” Before his first even made contact Ellie knew how that was going to end. She heard his wrist snapped and hid another laugh behind her hand as Deadpool moaned, “Oh your poor wife!”

Kitty Pryde was going to hear about this. And Illyana.

“You really should stop.” Colossus was sounding more and more exasperated by the moment. Ellie watching with growing amusement as Deadpool lunged to his feet, shaking both arms so that the wounded wrists shook and the bones crackled. Drama queen.

“All the dinosaurs feared the T-Rex,” he said, no doubt planning his next move. To Ellie he looked less like a T-Rex and more like a clown, but she would rather him keep beating on the indestructible man than turn on her. Although Colossus’ reaction might be fun to see, so this time when he jumped into the air and crashed his foot into Colossus’ head – it broke of course – Ellie didn’t hide her giggles.

“I promise this gets worse for you big boy!” he shouted from where he lay on the ground, staring up at an unimpressed Colossus. If she wasn’t so convinced that he deserved it – she was sitting in the remains of his massacre after all – Ellie might have felt bad for the man with three of his limbs twisted in odd directions.

“This is embarrassing,” her mentor said. Ellie had to agree. But it was funny too, and a nice distraction from all the carnage. “Please. Stay down.”

Ellie bit her lip to stop herself from saying, _’please don’t’_. Deadpool must have heard her thoughts, because he was already scrambling to his feet (foot) and hopping up and down. “Have you ever heard of the one-legged man in the ass-kicking contest?”

“Do you have off switch?” Colossus asked. Ellie wanted him to be quiet: she wanted to hear the punch line of Deadpool’s joke.

“Yeah. It’s right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?”

“Enough!” Colossus was finally done with putting up with Deadpool – possibly he was afraid of him ‘corrupting’ his trainee (who probably got more of Deadpool’s jokes than he did, but Ellie wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that) – and sent the man flying. That was a good enough punch line for Ellie who laughed and watched as Deadpool hit a windshield, shattering it completely. Even safety glass wasn’t meant to stand up to that.

The mercenary groaned and tried to stand up, but all he managed to do was roll off the windshield and hit the ground with a thud. Colossus approached him, cuffs in hand to catch him before he could heal. “Let us go talk to the professor,” he said as he snapped it around Deadpool’s wrist. Colossus seemed tired, no doubt over his explosion of anger that had caused him to attack Deadpool.

“McAvoy or Stewart?” Deadpool rambled. “These timelines are so confusing.”

He must have suffered brain damage, Ellie thought as she jumped off the car. Deadpool was groaning and making a show, either because he was hoping for mercy or attention. Either way Ellie didn’t care. “Dead or alive you’re coming with me!” he shouted.

“You’ll recover Wade,” Colossus promised. “You always do.”

Ellie heard him shifting – it couldn’t be pleasant being drug across the ground by Colossus – but ignored him until she heard him say, “Ever seen 127 Hours? Spoiler alert.”

Ellie had seen it – but she wasn’t about to admit that in front of Colossus who might look it up and realize the rating – so she kept her eyes forward and pretended not to understand what he was saying. At the sound of fabric breaking she turned her head and hoped she was wrong. She wasn’t.

Ellie swore. “Nasty.”

At the sound of her voice Colossus lifted his arm to see what their prisoner was doing. Deadpool kept sawing through his own arm. Blood squirted everywhere, including on Colossus’ face. He winced. Ellie pulled back, hoping to keep the blood as far away as possible.

“Oh!” Deadpool gasped, seemingly unbothered by what he was doing. Perhaps this was a regular occurrence for him. “There’s the money shot baby!”

As though aware of the effect he was having on her, Colossus had looked away and spat out the blood that had gotten in his mouth, Deadpool asked, “Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.” Then he braced his legs against Colossus and pushed, giving enough momentum to push off the edge of the freeway and finish tearing through his skin. Ellie tasted bile rising in her throat, but quickly swallowed it.

The hand that had been left attached to Colossus had its middle finger sticking up. He scowled and lowered his hand, releasing the handcuffs and letting it and the hand fall to the ground. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. Even with her horrible childhood and two years spent living on the streets of New York, today was easily the most disgusting and blood-filled day of her life. Colossus was wiping at his face with his hand, although without a sleeve or anything to wipe it on it didn’t remove the blood, just smeared it. Ellie slowly removed her scarf – she had plenty more almost identical to it – and held it out to him without a word. Anyone else she would have let suffer. Colossus didn’t deserve it.

He took it and wiped his face, spitting more and trying to remove the last of it.

“Can we go now?” Her tone was weaker than before, but with Colossus she felt less of a need to control it. He knew her better than she cared to admit.

The smell of blood was strengthening. Maybe because of the soaked scarf that Colossus had dropped (she wasn’t going to want it back), maybe because she was imagining it. Ellie could remember the sickening squish as she stepped on the dead man earlier and felt her stomach roll. This was not what she envisioned being an X-Man to be like.

Colossus nodded and motioned for them to return to the X-Jet. “That did not go as planned,” he fretted.

_‘That went about as expected_ ,’ Ellie thought numbly. “Deadpool didn’t try to break my bones.” Colossus made a strangled noise somewhere between a laugh and cough. “Although, it may have been better for him if he did,” she added, remembering him rolling on the ground with three of his four limbs shattered.

Colossus scowled. “No. It would not have been.”

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Warhead kicked at the ground. “What now? Do we go after him?”

“What do you think?”

She stared at him. Sure he was supposed to be training her, but that didn’t mean that he usually asked her to use her precognition. Then again, this was not like their usual missions. This involved a lot more blood and insanity.

“He’ll find us.” Ellie didn’t know where the thought came from, but she was surer of it than she had been of anything in quite a while. Deadpool was going to come to the X-Men. She wasn’t sure when or why or how. But she knew it.

Colossus grunted, not seeming to believe her. But he didn’t contradict her aloud. He would see eventually.

When they stepped aboard the X-Jet Ellie happily reminded herself that - even if she had lost a scarf and was tempted to never wear her left boot again – she now had a great story to tell Illyana and Kitty. Parts of it were funny. She would leave out the body she had stepped on and the smell of blood that was still lingering, (she hoped it was just her imagination. Either way she was taking a very long shower when they got home). As the Jet pulled away she saw policemen racing to the scene, but they wouldn’t find the perpetrator, Ellie had no doubt that he was long gone.

Her mentor was still quiet, unusually so, as they landed back at the Mansion she waited for Colossus to tell her she was done and could leave. He almost always wanted to talk after their missions and recap everything she was supposed to have learned. But today he said, “We will debrief later.”

She watched him leave, torn between being glad for the freedom to go wash and change and being worried by the change of traditions. Finally she stomped up to her room, grabbed new clothes and turned the shower as hot as it could go, letting the steam fill the room. She had borrowed (she hadn’t asked, but she was going to return it) Jubilee’s scented soap and used it to scrub the horrible smell away. Even after she felt as though she smelled better she dropped to her knees and sat on the bottom of the tub, letting the water cascade over her.

**Author's Note:**

> When I was watching Deadpool in the theater with my friend – I didn’t actually want to go, can’t stand the site of blood, I never curse, and am basically the Colossus of my friend group – I turned to my friend after the 127 Hours reference and asked what it meant. She said it meant I didn’t want to watch. Isn’t she the best?
> 
> I never thought I would like any of it and only went because she asked me to, but I feel in love with Warhead and Colossus. Basically what I’m saying is, I liked the X-Men part of Deadpool more than the Deadpool part of Deadpool. I might even have to buy it.
> 
> Ellie’s really not afraid of anything. She still has a bit of an “I’m invincible and even if I’m not completely indestructible I have Colossus” attitude which is going to get a rude wake-up call soon (-looking at you Angel Dust-).


End file.
